Rami tried to talk to her and asked her to calm down and rethink the situation, because, he claimed, she was doing him an injustice. She had misunderstood the situation, he said. Rima asked him to leave her alone and swore she would never return to him because he was a liar and a cheat. Rami tried again in every possible way to appease her and to explain the incident but again in vain. She was deaf to his pleading and demanded only one thing – a divorce.

A month later, Rima was in the shopping center when she saw Rami’s secretary. The girl came over to her and asked for an opportunity to explain what had happened. She begged until finally Rima agreed to sit down in a café with her. The secretary told Rima that what she had seen was a comradely embrace, a hug of support and commiseration. “What do you mean, commiseration?” Rima asked. The secretary told her that on that same day, someone had telephoned to tell her that her best friend had been killed in an automobile accident while on a trip abroad.  When Rami saw her weeping, he hugged her in a gesture of comfort.

At first Rima did not believe the story but the secretary swore it was true and even supplied proof. Now Rima  regretted not having given Rami the opportunity to explain and didn’t know what to do. She knew she had insulted him and hurt his pride. Would he ever want to talk to her again?

Rima is a proud woman and it was not easy for her to admit her mistake and to apologize. She felt that to apologize was a sign of personal weakness and would enable others to exploit this fact against her. She did not know what to do. She thought about it all weekend and then consulted her mother for help in finding a solution. Her mother pondered and then replied: “Do not forget liberality between yourselves. For Allah sees well all that ye do.”    Rima understood the message and apologized to Rami for having done him an injustice. He found it hard to believe his ears, since he knew her well and was aware that she did not like apologizing. He forgave her and she has not told him to this day  what impelled her to change her attitude.

הפוסט How can we encourage husbands and wives to concede to one another? הופיע לראשונה ב-קוראנט.

Samira went to meet the counselor and told her story. When she started crying, the counselor opened the Quran at Verse 78 of the Sura ‘Women’ and asked Samira to read aloud slowly and clearly: “Wherever you are, death will catch up with you, even if you live in formidable castles.” How do you understand this verse?, the counselor asked. “That it is God who decides about life and death, and no one can run away from what God decides.” That’s good, said the counselor. What does it say about you? “That I’m not to blame,” said Samira with a slight smile as she dries her tears. “That it’s God’s will and I’m not to blame,” she repeated. The counselor smiled back at her.

הפוסט What should you say to a girl who feels guilty about her father’s death? הופיע לראשונה ב-קוראנט.

Principal: Good morning, Rim. Let me speak straight out. I’ve heard that you are teaching by a different method to our accepted teaching method. The parents are complaining.
Rim: I know what I am doing.
Principal: But you don’t have permission to do as you choose.
Rim: Yes, I’m aware of that but I’m not just doing what I fancy. I examine the class and decide what is suitable for them and that is what I do.
Principal: Listen, I want to call in the counselor. I like to consult other people – particularly the counselor.

They went into the counselor’s office and she sat them down in her seating corner which was decorated with flowers and books.

Principal: I am torn between what Rim has to say and what the parents say.
Counselor: Tell me about it.
Principal: Rim is employing different teaching methods. She divides the into groups and relates to each group separately. The parents have complained about her method.
Counselor: What do you say, Rim?
Rim: I didn’t choose this method at random. I chose it because I discovered that it is suitable because it stimulates the pupils’ interest.
Counselor (to the principal): What are you going to decide?
Principal: I don’t know. I believe Rim, and I identify with her but the parents are also part of the study process. I can’t ignore them.
Rim: But I can explain my method to them.
Counselor (to the principal): If you are convinced by Rim’s methods, I think you should accept responsibility and support what you believe in.
Principal: Yes, but I’m apprehensive.
Rim: There’s nothing to fear. I’m ready to explain to the parents.
Counselor: Listen please, both of you. I want to read you a verse from the Quran: “One Day every soul will come up struggling for itself, and every soul will be recompensed (fully) for all its actions, and none will be unjustly dealt with”.
Principal: Yes, as the Quran says, I have to face the parents with what I believe, and I believe that Rim is an excellent teacher who is employing new teaching methods in order to arouse the pupils’ interest. Perhaps the parents are scared of any innovation. They are accustomed to the familiar methods they remember from the time when they were at school – the teacher stands at the center of the classroom and talks and everyone listens. But when you divide the children into groups, more children can take part and express their opinions. If it is done correctly, it is a very refreshing method. Thank you.
Rim: Yes, thank you.

הפוסט Is it permissible to innovate? הופיע לראשונה ב-קוראנט.

הפוסט What can we do when our good deeds encounter ingratitude? הופיע לראשונה ב-קוראנט.

The teacher decided to deal with the matter. She started the next education hour with a Quran verse: “To orphans restore their property (When they reach their age), nor substitute (your) worthless things for (their) good ones; and devour not their substance (by mixing it up) with your own. For this is indeed a great sin”. She asked the pupils what the verse meant and then went on to describe Ranin’s suffering. She knew that there was no need to conceal the facts because the entire class had taken part. She was not looking for culprits but wanted to bring about a transformation in the class so that Ranin could feel better. She reassured the pupils and promised not to investigate who had done what but made it clear that she was ashamed of all of them. After the lesson, several of the girls went over to Ranin and said that they wanted to be her friends.

הפוסט How should we treat the orphaned and the weak? הופיע לראשונה ב-קוראנט.

After consultations in the Ministry of Education, it was decided to utilize the Quran in order to reform them. The members of the gange were told that if they wanted to remain in school they must attend several lessons in religion where they would read the Quran and discuss what they read. At the first lesson, the principal chose Verse 216 of Surah 2 in order to begin: “But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and ye know not”. After he read the verse, there was silence in the room. Then he turned to the pupils and asked them how they understood the verse. It was the first time that they had agreed to attend a lesson and even take part in it. The principal invited their parents and several religious notables to take part in the coming lessons. After six meetings, several teachers reported that the boys’ conduct had changed beyond recognition. Their elders, hoping that the change would not be short-lived, decided to continue the religious lessons in order to preserve the achievements.

הפוסט What can we say to a delinquent adolescent? הופיע לראשונה ב-קוראנט.

Teacher: Explain to me why you’re crying.
Samar: Because I was shouting when you came in.
Teacher: Samar, I want to give you something to think about at home. What would have happened if you had trodden on Amir’s bag? Would he have shouted at you?
Samar (hastily): No, he wouldn’t.
Teacher: I said it was homework. Bring me your answer tomorrow.

At the end of the day, Amir went over to Samar and said: “Samar, you behaved badly towards me, but I want to help you and give you some advice. At home, open the Quran at Surah 3, Verse 134 and you will find the answer”.

Samar ran home, opened the Quran and read the verse: “.. who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men;- for Allah loves those who do good“. The next day she brought Amir a little gift and said to him, in front of the entire class: ” Please, Amir, take this little gift because you taught me something very important – how to be restrained; please forgive me”.

הפוסט What can we do about anger? הופיע לראשונה ב-קוראנט.

הפוסט What should a child do when a parent or teacher doesn’t appreciate him? הופיע לראשונה ב-קוראנט.

Omer is a shy boy and always tries to avoid reading. When the teacher asks him, he refuses. Recently she has talked to him several times in order to encourage him and help him overcome his shyness. They have agreed that on Tuesday Omer will read a story to the class, and he has announced that this time he will keep his word.

But as the moment approaches Omer keeps wondering what to do and how to revoke his commitment. Perhaps he can say that he has an appointment with the doctor, or perhaps, simply, he will stay home that day – in the end he goes to his mother and asks her: “What will happen if I don’t keep my promise to the teacher?” His mother replies: ” Listen, my son, you promised. As the Quran says: ‘ Fulfil the contracts which ye have made… Such are the people of truth, the Allah-fearing’.“

הפוסט Is a promise also a promise to yourself? הופיע לראשונה ב-קוראנט.

הפוסט What can we say to someone who is dazzled by false appearances? הופיע לראשונה ב-קוראנט.