Home Quranet Chapter 3 What can we say to a teacher who has something against girls?
What can we say to a teacher who has something against girls?
Chapter 3

أَلَمْ يَأْتِهِمْ نَبَأُ الَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِهِمْ قَوْمِ نُوحٍ وَعَادٍ وَثَمُودَ وَقَوْمِ إِبْرَاهِيمَ وِأَصْحَابِ مَدْيَنَ وَالْمُؤْتَفِكَاتِ أَتَتْهُمْ رُسُلُهُم بِالْبَيِّنَاتِ فَمَا كَانَ اللّهُ لِيَظْلِمَهُمْ وَلَـكِن كَانُواْ أَنفُسَهُمْ يَظْلِمُونَ (سورۃ التوبة, آيۃ 70)

Hath not the story reached them of those before them? The people of Nuh, and 'Ad, and Thamud; the people of Ibrahim, the men of Madyan, and the Cities overthrown. To them came their Messengers with Clear Signs. It is not Allah Who wrongs them, but they wrong their own souls. (Surah 9, Verse 70)

Nur, an eighth-grader, complained to the school counselor several times about the history teacher.
Nur: Good morning, I am Nur. I came to see you a week ago and it's happened again. I'm tired of that teacher!
Counselor: I've talked to him about your complaint that he discriminates against the girls and shouts at them although they are quiet and good students.
Nur: Yes, yes. Then he shouted at me for complaining about him. He said I turn everything into a big issue.
Counselor: He says that he doesn't discriminate but that you girls annoy him.
Nur: What does that mean? It's not true.
Counselor: I set up a meeting with him. Don't worry, I'll solve the problem.
Nur: I'm relying on you.

The counselor set up a meeting with the teacher. At first he refused to come, saying that it was a waste of time and he had examinations to check. The counselor was surprised that an educated teacher should behave like that. She insisted and finally he came and sat down with an angry expression.

Counselor: Good morning.
Teacher: Good morning. Believe me, I have no time. Let's get this over quickly.
Counselor: Calm down. We are having a conversation, that's all, about the eighth grade class you teach.
Teacher: Last time you told me the girls were complaining about me. Yes, I have a problem. I don't trust them. They cause problems and because they are girls they want me to treat them nicely and delicately. But they behave badly. I blame them and I blame Allah for making them girls and making us their slaves. I won't change my mind and treat them differently. It's too hard for me.
Counselor: Believe me, if you want to change, nothing will be difficult. Start and I'll help you. Allah has done nothing and the girls have done nothing. It's you who are responsible. Open your heart and see how all the teachers want to help you and love you. Treat the girls the way you treat boys. There is no need for pity. I know you believe in the Quran and I want to read you Verse 70 of the 9th Surah which I believe with all my heart. "It is not Allah Who wrongs them but they wrong their own souls."

The counselor stayed in contact with the teacher to encourage him to persevere in his new attitude.

Explanation: this important verse from the Quran is appropriate for those people who blame others and Allah, but never themselves. This teacher has difficulty with women. Neither the women nor Allah are responsible for his difficulty. He must accept responsibility for himself and change his attitude towards girls. If he undergoes psychotherapy he will be able to understand why he holds such opinions about women (for example, he believes that he is their slave). Perhaps he had problems with his mother or women in general in his past. But now he is an adult and responsible for his actions. He can no longer blame others. Does this teacher treat his own daughters like that? We hope not. We hope he treats them equally to his sons. We have already noted that not only does the Quran command the faithful not to treat others unfairly but that fair treatment is also the precondition for building a healthy society, in which women can make their contribution both as mothers and as working women. The teacher's attitude undermines society because it makes his female students feel inferior and unable to believe in their own capabilities. The counselor was right not to show anger towards the teacher but to treat him with warmth and understanding and to try to help him. She herself is a woman and by her actions she is showing him how wrong he is in his attitude to women. The way of the Quran is love.